


i’m not afraid of you anymore, danny

by danihi



Series: my allegiance belongs to mrs de winter [2]
Category: Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca - Levay/Kunze
Genre: Anal Sex, F/F, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexually Frustrated, lmao do i tag this? welp gonna do it anways for safe measures, this is not porn heavy but like there's still sex so i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:00:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26373865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danihi/pseuds/danihi
Summary: The new Mrs de Winter tries to exert herself into Manderley and make some changes of her own, but it seems that it's harder than just rearranging things in a room.
Relationships: Maxim de Winter/Narrator (Rebecca), Mrs Danvers/I, Mrs Danvers/Ich, Mrs. Danvers/Ich, Narrator (Rebecca)/Mrs. Danvers (Rebecca)
Series: my allegiance belongs to mrs de winter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818586
Kudos: 4





	i’m not afraid of you anymore, danny

I thought to change the flowers in the Morning Room. The orchids had grown somewhat unruly, I questioned if someone was not in charge of taming them but considering they were Rebecca’s I found it hard to believe that Mrs Danvers wouldn’t have done it herself. Perhaps she’d thought to let them grow like this to remind me, to spite me. I flushed at the thought, how self-centered I was to think that everything she did was in direct response to me. But I could not squash it down. It felt like that; her gaze.

She strode in as the first maid walked out with a pot in hand.

“What,” she said loudly at first, “are you doing, Madam?”

“Cleaning.”

I turned from the orchids to face her and felt myself jump at how close she’d appeared all of a sudden. There were still several maids in the room with us. A traitorous thought flit across my mind, a small but dangerous feeling that something was going to happen between us.

“Clarice, Marie, Anne, please continue clearing them out.”

Mrs Danvers blocked their way and they were forced to stand down. Even here, where I had her outnumbered, she would simply not back down.

“Perhaps, it is better if I take care of these,” she said slowly, “if you are so intent on getting rid of her.”

I thought at first that she had let her mask slip, and in front of the other maids too, but I knew it had to have been intentional for she didn’t correct herself. I shifted uneasily.

“I suppose you would know how to take care of them.”

She glanced at the maids and they scattered.

“And what do you propose to replace them with?”

“I do not plan to replace them. I think flowers should not be kept inside, or rather, I think orchids should be buried deep in dirt, wouldn’t you agree, Mrs Danvers?”

I looked at her, I had regained some confidence knowing I did not need to pretend for the maids too.

“That seems to be the only way you deal with things.”

I gave her a tight smile. “Mrs Danvers, don’t you think that I’ve been kind to you?”

She raised her eyebrow and grinned in a mock smile.

“If I had had my way,” I said and turned my back to fiddle with something on my desk to keep from losing my nerve, “I wouldn’t leave a single thing of hers behind. I’m not afraid of you anymore…”

And I look at her then, “… Danny.”

When she met my eyes she came close, so very close, I was worried if she didn’t back away my lips could come to touch hers, the hard wooden lip of the table digging into my hips.

“I never told you to be afraid of me.”

“Don’t play with my words—”

“I’m… not, Madam. Simply…” She looked deep into my eyes. “Next time do tell a more plausible lie. You can’t persuade me with such a stiff jaw.”

And then she was gone.

I couldn’t feel my legs, if I dared move, I’d stumble to the ground. I wondered what Maxim was doing now. I wondered if he was able to tell when I was lying too.

****

It wasn’t until after lunch at noon that I saw him again. He’d been somewhere, he never did tell me what it was he was doing, but whatever it was it seemed to pull him so often from me.

“I heard from Frank that you’d started to change some things in the house.”

“Yes, sort of. Just the Morning room.”

“The orchids…” he started but didn’t finish.

“Yes, the orchids, I had Mrs Danvers move them elsewhere.”

“Do they bother you?”

The way he’d said it made it sound like it was the wrong thing to have done. Did he wish to keep Rebecca’s memory alive too? I knew he still ached for her in those nights where he’d turn so quickly away from me that though we were resting on the same bed we could have been rooms apart.

I put my hand to my chin. “No, not at all. I just… I prefer… I prefer azaleas over orchids.”

“Then I shall bring you some fine specimens for the Morning room.”

I was surprised at the sharp turn of the mood between us. He seemed almost happy, a giddy childish energy set him bouncing lightly on his heels as he looked out the windows.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

“Upstairs?”

He skipped a couple steps going up, it felt so suspect, I was not sure if this was something I should celebrate or fear of what he would do once we were up there. He led me to his bedroom. I still felt some way about how we slept in different rooms. Weren’t husbands and wives meant to sleep together every night? Unease flittered around my stomach. But it was not like I wasn’t thankful for the privacy either. We both had our own secrets.

Once he closed the door he whirled around and took me in his arms.

“Tell me you love me” He said as he kissed me, sucked at my lips and forced his tongue inside my mouth.

“Tell me you love me,” he said once more after he had withdrawn from me.

I fiddled with his tie not daring to look up at him.

“What’s wrong?” he said his voice turned gravelly all of a sudden. My hesitation had planted a seed of doubt into his mind and I didn’t know how to uproot it. There _was_ something wrong. His arms moved uneasily around my body, constricting it as if, had he squeezed enough, I’d cough up the answer.

I nuzzled my chin into the crook of his neck to stop my mouth from shaking, “Are you happy with me?”

He sighed. “What do you want me to say?”

He moved me off of him and onto his bed, and then he fell to kissing once again, his mouth roaming my face, my neck, my chest, and lower still. I thought for one excited and horrified moment he would kiss me there. But he stopped at my belly.

“We should have a child soon.”

I shivered and grabbed at his shirt to pull him back to my face. But instead he took my arm and pulled it to the side urging me to turn around. I knew in an instant where this was going. His weight became too much too suddenly, I felt my body burn. He pushed up my skirt, it was not even a couple hours since noon had passed and it was during that time in the day where everything felt hot and sticky, without even the courtesy of pulling all of it off. Perhaps if he had undressed me slowly and did the same for himself it wouldn’t feel so unfeeling. My burning body against his, skin to skin, but what we were doing felt like it was something a couple in secrecy did quickly and with haste; something entirely animalistic. I did not mind that he’d pushed my face into the sheets, made me clung onto the bedspread and taken me from behind, it was the way he did it, rough and callous, like I was not worthy of tender lovemaking. It set fire to my ears and my face and made me gag my mouth with my hand the sounds that we were making; the impersonal slap of skin.

When he was done he laid on me a while longer and I felt like turning around and cradling his head in my chest, but he withdrew just as the thought had crossed my mind. He pulled down my skirt too like what’d we’d done was shameful and left the room not long after he’d finished fixing himself up.

I still had my face buried in the covers, my hand ghosting the desire between my legs. I wished Mrs Danvers would come up. No. What I needed was to stop thinking about her. I rubbed harder. My body was getting warmer again. What if she did come up? She’d smirk at how I was grasping at straws to keep myself together with that annoying half smile. Maybe she’d take my hand from my legs and replace it with her own. What if she took me from behind too? I felt her phantom weight on me of nights prior, the way her hips felt against my own. My breathing grew ragged; I was close. I pictured her long slender fingers twisting and moving and feeling its way around me. I imagined her face, strands of her hair coming undone from her tight bun as she worked me up, the sweat of her forehead falling and running down my back. And it sent me over the edge. My thighs clenched and I stifled a moan into the bedsheet.

If she was here she would not be satisfied with simply bringing me to my climax. I thought of her turning me around and shoving those long fingers into my mouth—making me taste my own undoing—with her own biting and kissing my flesh, making her way down to that secret place. If Maxim had even the guts to bring his tongue near there, I was sure he would not have the same dexterity as she would.

Shame bubbled beneath my belly and I was hit with a sudden tiredness. I couldn’t be bothered to clean myself up and Maxim wouldn’t be back nor need me for the rest of the afternoon, so I let myself rest there.

Perhaps, if Mrs Danvers still wanted to tease me later—make me pay for removing her beloved’s orchids—I’d give her a signal whilst she helped me dress, and she’d take me in the way that I Maxim couldn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> I set up some things in this fic and I kinda wanna continue it so who knows if I will update it with a new chapter but here ya'll go. This fic was also based on a tweet someone on ktheatre twitter made, so shout out to 모래! They're funny as hell!


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